pony express - 02
divine sleeper, lyrics on birthday cake,
my bare skin on the wool of your pajamas, baby's first fire hazard. it burns and burns and burns.
a-ga-ve. sun-flow-er. three syllable madness.1 i sound out your name. i spell it out, aligned with words. i've spelled your name in my head hundreds of times, easy. your name in my dreams fragmented and glued back together.
mister 'sunshine past midnight' estimating me carefully, the stranger in the sandbox. and your appraisal... i hope i'm an empty gauge, grayed out, error. a little lamb lost belonging to a dead shepherd who started living tomorrow.
my desolate, desperate heart like a desert. with each pump reveals reality red blood, crumbling pink rock breaking off ventricles and veins. cactus rose, essence of aloe, i'm begging you to play your part: knight in shining silver-gray gunmetal armed to the teeth atop his white horse heaven-sent.2
i feel free, vibrant, freely, vibrantly. i run and you don't have to chase me. instead, i am a pet wild rabbit. i eat the treats that fall before me in the hay, right into my lap. an apple that guts me like the carving knife that hunts me that splits me open, halves me.
every thought of you, a bullet piercing through.
1. madness, if you know the word, madness. like the open road and a dog that won't 'stay'. like a prayer to god; a wish.
2. “i saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called faithful and true. with justice he judges and wages war.” (revelation 19:11 niv)
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